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Nighthawk
Charter Member
1370 posts
16-Oct-02, 02:39 AM (PST)
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"Altoids"
 
The SBJGS and Company-wide Morale Boosting

...Had the most interesting conversation with the top
sales weasel at our company today. She came into
my office and noticed I had a box of Altoids on my desk.
(Have you had them? They are these obnoxiously
strong peppermints made in England.) As soon as
she saw them, she burst into laughter. Turns out she
had recently had an affair with a guy who called her
and left her an incredibly steamy voice mail message
after an encounter.

He went on and on about what a blow job goddess
she was, how amazing she was, how he'd never be
the same, etc. She was kind of puzzled, thinking:
what did I do to this guy that was so different from
my regular technique?

She finally figured it out: she's a smoker, and before
getting intimate with him, she had gone to the
bathroom to "freshen up." Not having a toothbrush,
she crunched on about four Altoids and then got
busy. Apparently, things went amazingly.

So she passed this little tidbit on to another female
sales weasel, who immediately tried it out on *her*
fiancee. Apparently this guy has never, ever been
into oral sex, but liked the mint sensation so much
that he asked her to stop and chew another Altoids
mid-blow job. He is now a fellatio gourmand.

This news has been going around our office. Having
a box of Altoids on your desk is now like being part
of the Secret Blowjob Goddess Society .

It's the equivalent of having the hottest car or coolest
computer. News spread like crazy among the females,
who all went out at lunch to Walgreens to buy a box
of Altoids (about $2 for 100 or so), and their partners
across the city tonight are getting one hell of a
corporate blow job. As far as company-wide morale
boosting events, it doesn't get much better.

Some of the men found out, too -- they went out after
work to buy them for their wives. They strategized
on how to get their wives to eat them. And people
wonder why I work in technology?

(For what it's worth -- it really does work! It leaves
a lasting tingle that is apparently quite exquisite.)

Nighthawk

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sanjuan
Charter Member
113 posts
16-Oct-02, 08:06 AM (PST)
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1. "RE: Altoids"
In response to message #0
 
   I can say firsthand that Altoids leave both a lasting tingle in your mouth and anywhere your mouth goes .
I've both given and received and must say that there's quite a refreshing feeling and the tingles are at a much different level that what we're used to.
Go forth and give it a go

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northbay
Charter Member
369 posts
16-Oct-02, 08:17 AM (PST)
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2. "RE: Altoids"
In response to message #0
 
   I've seen tins of those things at providers houses for years. I always assumed they were just for a clients breath.

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Nighthawk
Charter Member
1370 posts
16-Oct-02, 10:35 AM (PST)
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3. "RE: Altoids"
In response to message #2
 
Yeah, they work for that, too.

Nighthawk

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teets2
Charter Member
539 posts
16-Oct-02, 03:10 PM (PST)
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7. "Starbuck's Mints"
In response to message #2
 
   I used to think that Altoids were strong too.....then I tried the Starbuck's After Coffee Mints. Those really pack a whallop and I am guessing would also provide some serious sensations during BJ's, even more so than Altoids. Can anybody attest to this????

teets

"When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than my talent for
absorbing positive knowledge." - Albert Einstein

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FrenchKiss
Charter Member
2099 posts
16-Oct-02, 11:06 AM (PST)
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4. "RE: Altoids"
In response to message #0
 
Yeah, and if you think that's good, you should try one of my BenGay hand-jobs.

Yikes!

Ék

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Nighthawk
Charter Member
1370 posts
16-Oct-02, 11:09 AM (PST)
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5. "RE: Altoids"
In response to message #4
 
Ouch!

Nighthawk

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LouieDePalma
Charter Member
202 posts
18-Oct-02, 00:14 AM (PST)
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8. "RE: Altoids"
In response to message #4
 
   Ok, OK as long as you don't do a prostate massage.

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charlotte_sometimes*
unregistered user
16-Oct-02, 02:52 PM (PST)
 
6. "RE: Altoids"
In response to message #0
 
   wasn't that one of the things from the lewinsky deposition? that she had brought an email to his office about giving blowjobs with altoids? it's ringing a bell ... i try not to engage in any acts that bring that whole sordid affair to mind

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Bob E. Dazzler*
unregistered user
19-Oct-02, 07:44 AM (PST)
 
9. "our man in the state house"
In response to message #6
 
   >wasn't that one of the things from the lewinsky deposition?
>that she had brought an email to his office about giving
>blowjobs with altoids? it's ringing a bell ... i try not to
>engage in any acts that bring that whole sordid affair to
>mind ;)

You mean like voting? :-)

One thing we can say about our man Gray, he may have put Cal. in the red by $25B through lousy economic planning, he may have allowed (begged?) the energy companies to hoodwink him, and he may be the most important reason for campaign finance reform, but, to my knowledge, he never GOT or GAVE an Altoid BBBJTC. Unlike Bubba, he's got some of that there political dignity!

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Dick Frenzies*
unregistered user
19-Oct-02, 07:46 AM (PST)
 
10. "RE: our man in the state house"
In response to message #9
 
   5{t one of the things from the lewinsky deposition?
>>that she had brought an email to his office about giving
>>blowjobs with altoids? it's ringing a bell ...

It's now an urban legend: http://www.snopes.com/sex/aphrodis/altoids.htm

Dick

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Gnusey
Charter Member
805 posts
22-Oct-02, 05:28 PM (PST)
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11. "RE: our man in the state house"
In response to message #10
 
OK, so Altoids have been debunked. I wonder what would happen if one munched a jalapeno pepper before DATY. The pepper produces an oil that lasts a long time. My guess is that you'd light your baby's fire, but good.

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