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"sexual addiction to the hobby"

 
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FreeWillyDave (368 posts) Click to send private message to FreeWillyDave Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 11:48 AM (PDT)
"sexual addiction to the hobby"
The posts by Biker and Synesthetic were really heartfelt and honest, and has gotten me thinking more about this very time-worn and oft-repeated subject. Still, I'd like to bring it up once more in this forum, and ask some of you for your honest opinions.

Do you feel that this hobby is genuinely addictive for you? Has anybody else let it consume their financial resources, normal social ties, and self-esteem?

See, I too have recently been indulging in this hobby more than I can sustain indefinitely. My rationale is that I want to find a few good ones to repeat with. But the reality of it is the excitement, novelty, and anticipation are big, alluring factors too.

I'd like to how many times a week/month on average most of you see a provider, and how much money this adds up to. For those who can keep it to 1-2X/month and no more, what is your attitude/approach to the hobby?

I'd like to settle into a routine in which I have around three good sessions a month. My conscience and wallet can handle that.
Anybody else afraid of getting sucked in?

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mister_handy (786 posts) Click to send private message to mister_handy Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 12:54 PM (PDT)
1. "RE: sexual addiction to the hobby"
At my peak (corresponded with the stock market's, a little more than a year ago) I was going about once a week. In general, I've gone 1-2x a month, and at present, not at all.
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errolflynn (29 posts) Click to send private message to errolflynn Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 01:02 PM (PDT)
2. "RE: sexual addiction to the hobby"
When those stock options were worth something, it was 3X a week with a couple of independent ATFs. Now that those options are underwater, it's 1X every other week with one independent ATF. While I've been to AMPs on occasion, and even though I know I could get more bang for the buck at AMPs, the total experience has always been better with the indie ATF. The post-session smiles and dreams last a little longer...
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JJ2U (120 posts) Click to send private message to JJ2U Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 01:21 PM (PDT)
3. "RE: sexual addiction to the hobby"
Due to financial reasons I partake once a week and because of finances lately I'm going to AMP's more. I have always looked at AMP's as the "fast food" of this hobby, with the better independents as the "gourmet meal". Frankly I'm getting tired of the AMP meals!And NO I don't want it Super Sized!!!!
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MrWood (103 posts) Click to send private message to MrWood Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 01:35 PM (PDT)
4. "Yes it's addictive!"
Yes it is addictive!
I never paid much attention to the adult sites on the internet. The computer at home is in the living room and I didnít see any reason to search at work. ( Canít beat off at my desk). But when I found out that sites like eros showed pictures of women you could call and have sex with, things changed! It was like being at the ice cream shop trying to decide what flavor I wanted. You have to have vanilla (blue eyed blond), and after that, you start trying every flavor there is. Sometimes you get hooked on one for awhile and then thereís a new flavor of the month that you just canít resist.

Anyway, about once a month for me blows the budget so to speak. With a frenzy near the holidays when I get a bonus that I cash in on.

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roget (32 posts) Click to send private message to roget Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 02:44 PM (PDT)
5. "RE: Yes it's addictive!"
It's totally addictive for me. I've told myself many times "this is the last time" (especially when it's a lame experience), but I always keep coming back for more. Mainly to repeat the good experiences. But they are few and far between. However, I recently bought a new house and the hobby will have to stop to forestall foreclosure.

I don't do it regularly, but I binge. This month 6x, including MBOT, NC and 4 indies. Ouch!! Sometimes I'll go 3-4 months without indulging.

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dox (24 posts) Click to send private message to dox Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 03:25 PM (PDT)
6. "RE: Yes it's addictive!"
I second and third that! For me, it's more of the "idle hands do the devil's work" -- when I'm not busy and have time to surf, I get very tempted. I average once or twice a month but am alarmed by my recent escalation in activity. If money isn't such an issue, I know I'd be doing it more frequently!
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ElephantBalls (65 posts) Click to send private message to ElephantBalls Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 09:03 PM (PDT)
7. "RE: Yes it's addictive!"
It certainly is addictive. I have never gone more than 2-3 times per week -- at the peak of my addiction and the stock makret ride. So far in 2001, I have been a 1x/month man.
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Biker (519 posts) Click to EMail Biker Click to send private message to Biker Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
20-Apr-01, 10:16 PM (PDT)
8. "RE: Yes it's addictive!"
I do not have an addictive personality. I have never been addicted to anything in my life. I have went through stages of drinking heavy because of the people I would hang around and then just drink nothing for 6 months. I smoked for 15 years and then just stopped cold turky without a problem. If I had a reason to give up whoreing I think I could.

Now on the other hand for me I have a very obbsessive personality. Everything I do I become obsessed about. Racing cars when I was young. Golf in my early thirities, I could not stop until I became a 10 handycap. Then there were other hobbies like computers. etc. Becoming obsessed about something I enjoy is my problem. Today it's whoreing. tomorrow it may be skydiving or fishing. who knows?

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Derf (28 posts) Click to send private message to Derf Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
24-Apr-01, 01:53 PM (PDT)
12. "RE: Yes it's addictive!"
I have to agree with doc, I work out of a home office, my sites I manager are working very well now and need little input from me, so I wander around Eros, Cityvibe and RB and go on "pussy hunts"
I know this sounds really bad, but that the truth, I get bored and sex is right there on my mind, and I'm an old guy!!!
Derf
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synesthetic (353 posts) Click to EMail synesthetic Click to send private message to synesthetic Click to check IP address of the poster
21-Apr-01, 10:36 AM (PDT)
9. "Yes, it is..."
Easy to get sucked in. But after awhile, it gets old especially if you do it more than a few times a week.
The best providers are the ones who are creative and make every session different. If you know what is going to happen and in what order, the excitement and novelty wears off, and that's why lots of men like to try different providers. If I find one whom I get along well with, like to talk to, and develop some emotional bond (but not to the point of love or obsession), that can be much more rewarding than trying new providers every time, and often being dissapointed besides wasting a lot of money. Once you find someone like that, and if they are creative making every session different, you can reach new levels of sensual pleasure, not waste money going from woman to woman.
Set a budget, and don't overdo it, and it won't consume your life.
Easier said than done.

My first ATF was like that. She went by the names of Doe and Leilani, and worked out of Christine's place in the East Bay part of the time, while she had her own place in SF the other part of the time. I am sure many of you who have been around a long time remember her. She was sweet, honest, creative and highly sensual. Just seeing her once a month satisfied my need, and it was always different and exciting. She quit the business four years ago and last I heard is that she is doing very well in another career in a city far away from the Bay Area. If she was still in the business, she would probably be the only provider I would see.
Incidentally, she met her partner/boyfriend from the business.
He is a musician and well known in some circles, and her name is on a few of his CDs.

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SanJoseScott (31 posts) Click to send private message to SanJoseScott Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
24-Apr-01, 09:59 AM (PDT)
10. "RE: sexual addiction to the hobby"
I've been in the hobby about 7 months, and have averaged one provider a month or so - mainly due to financial considerations (I'm not strapped for cash, but "accessing" it is difficult). I'd say some of the initial "novelty" (or whatever you want to call it) has worn off over that time, so whereas a few months ago I might have been close to becoming addicted, I don't think that's true anymore. I still greatly enjoy my monthly sessions - but I'm starting to become more particular about who I call (and more cost-conscious).
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march26 (40 posts) Click to send private message to march26 Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
24-Apr-01, 10:26 AM (PDT)
11. "RE: sexual addiction to the hobby"
i've started this hobby about 8 mo ago... going to AMPs mainly. At first, it was only a once-in-a-while thing, but recently I became a dot-com casualty. So, for the past month and a half, I've been going once a week, mainly because of being bored sitting at home all day. It's ironic, because during an uncertain time where I should be saving money, I'm out there spending it fast! i guess you could call it an addiction, but I think I'm going because of the boredom. Once my new job starts next month, I doubt I'll have the time/energy to go so frequently.

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jimboy (240 posts) Click to send private message to jimboy Click to check IP address of the poster
24-Apr-01, 04:31 PM (PDT)
13. "RE: sexual addiction to the hobby"
OK, as long as we're talking about sexual addiction - here's another twist. How would those of you who think you're addicted describe what, exactly, it is that hooks you?

What I mean is - how much of it is physical and how much emotional? Are some of us relationship junkies and using the hobby to feed our addiction with a variety of quasi-intimate pseudo-relationships? (Hey! I may have to copyright that phrase.)

Some of us can find an ATF and be perfectly happy going back again and again. While others are constantly searching for the "rush" that new experiences bring. What have your own experiences shown you about your place in this hobby?

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