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"Sexual Addiction?"

 
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Anonymous* (26 posts) Click to check IP address of the poster
11-Jan-01, 01:19 PM (PDT)
"Sexual Addiction?"
I am compeled to write this because I believe this "hobby" has become the most destructive force in my life. I have been sober from drugs and alcohol for several years and strippers, hookers and massuses have become my new addiction.

I wanted to post a web site that might be helpful for those of you that can relate to the time consuming cycle of shame and remorse that I have felt around these activities.

www.sexaa.org There are local meetings every day listed on this site as well as helpful literature. I highly recomend the book
"Out of the Shadows" by Patrick Karnes. (Look in the non-Saa literature section).

The only requirement is a desire to stop.

For those of you that this does not apply keep on humping. If the rewards become smaller than the risk/pain, then check this out.

I am not affiliated with, nor a spokes person for, any of the above info. Just someone who has promised himself again and again that "this is the last time", and it never is.

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Running Boy* (17 posts) Click to check IP address of the poster
11-Jan-01, 01:38 PM (PDT)
1. "RE: Sexual Addiction?"
I'm with you. This post may do well on the diaries page as well . . .
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escritic (57 posts) Click to send private message to escritic Click to check IP address of the poster
11-Jan-01, 04:45 PM (PDT)
2. "RE: Sexual Addiction?"

I feel your pain.
However, you can't see a provider if you don't have any $$$.
Ever thought about putting your money into your retirement fund instead?
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handman* (8 posts) Click to check IP address of the poster
11-Jan-01, 06:32 PM (PDT)
3. "RE: Sexual Addiction?"
I respect your honesty... and courage.

I think we have probably all had times when we've felt the emptimess and perhaps shame of being intimate with someone who didn't treat us well, or perhaps was clearly using us for our money (as we were using them for their bodies). When the pleasure is over, the money is gone and the fantasy has faded, I sometimes find myself asking "Was it worth it?" Truthfully, sometimes I think it was. But far more often, I don't.

We all come to terms with these things in our own ways: some make vows to stop (very difficult to do), others become more obsessed with finding the perfect fantasy mate/experience (somehow we never get enough, do we?). My current compromise is to stay away from providers/behaviors that don't make me feel good about myself. Easier said than done

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netranger (4 posts) Click to send private message to netranger Click to check IP address of the poster
12-Jan-01, 12:55 PM (PDT)
4. "RE: Sexual Addiction?"
I also hear what you are saying. I am been "clean" for only 4 weeks now. I got into a once a week habit of seeing someone at AMP. Very expensive and actually unfullfeeling. I can't say I will stop completely, but I am try to go as long as possible between "adventures". So far so good. I'm just living through everyone else via Redbook.

Thanks for the website, I will check it out.

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mrbig* (8 posts) Click to check IP address of the poster
12-Jan-01, 01:51 PM (PDT)
5. "RE: Sexual Addiction?"
I am clean for 2 months now and I try to give myself a treat for doing this. Its tough, but I now have a girlfriend and usually get great sex. When times are great and she feels good we may have sex 5 times a week.

On new years eve - she was a maniac and had me going for 6 hours thru the night. Spanking + allowing me to cum in her mouth.

Now we are going thru a dry spell, so 2 times a week at most!

In short, the longer you stay away, the easier it will be. Its tough, but hang in there buddy.

GOOD LUCK

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FatherConfessor (41 posts) Click to send private message to FatherConfessor Click to view user profile Click to check IP address of the poster
13-Jan-01, 01:02 PM (PDT)
6. "You are correct, sir!"
Just wanted to jump in and say, "yes, for some people, this can definitely be a very destructive force." Some people can drink socially and others are abusive drunks. Some people can gamble for fun and others will ruin their lives because of gambling. Or shopping. Or eating. For a number of people, sexual addiction can RUIN a life.

Thanks for the link to SexAA. I have found that by helping others to deal with their addiction, it helps me to deal with mine. Why don't you check out some of my threads in the archives. Some really brave souls posted their hearts.

You hang in there! My usual advice is to:

1) go talk to someone, but you already seem to already be doing that
2) if you are willing, ask for divine assistance, which AA is based on already
3) if you do slip, don't kill yourself over it, just clean up and get back on the wagon and realize that change takes time

By the way, there are a few rare providers who understand sex addiction, and would be willing to help set up something similar to a sexual nicotene patch system for you. They talk to you in a therapeutic manner, do Tantric kinds of stuff, can be trusted to discuss the other parts of your life that are pushing you toward sex providers, and work within a modality of breaking free of an addictive pattern. Look around for Hana, and I hear that Cyrille is thinking of doing this as well.

And for the rest of you who are NOT addicted, please ignore us and do not blast us with negative posts.

FC

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WaywardSoul* (1 posts) Click to check IP address of the poster
13-Jan-01, 01:36 PM (PDT)
7. "RE: You are correct, sir!"
Father:

Thank you for sharing. I am very interested in sexaa.

May I be so bold to ask a question.

Will there be many women at the meetings? I am serious. I am very worried that I will attend the meetings -- with all the sincerest intentions -- and then be tempted by women at the meetings, sharing their addiction to sex too. Seems like a very very hard environment in which to stay "clean"

I can see it now: I pour out my heart, open and be vulnerable. There is a woman in the room, we feel a connection, she consoles me .. and we find outselves f*cking.

Now I and I am sure she will feel even worse!

This is a seriosu question. I would really appreciate serious and thoughtful replies. Thank you.

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